Monday, September 24, 2012

The Captain's Log of Captain Frederick Stevenson, of Space, Part 3

Let's do something a little different this time. I have FTL - Faster Than Light. I'd like to review it, but I need to play it more first. So come along on this first impressions/Let's Play as Captain Frederick Stevenson braves the treachery of space. I've played it less than an hour previously, so enough time to know how it works without having a lot of surprise spoiled for this. Part 3!  Also, sorry it took so long.  Next updates should come out much quicker.

Captain's Log: Spacedate 1,383

Ugh, nebulas.  So annoying.  Look at this map:

It's huge!  And our sensors don't work when we're in it!  At least the rebel fleet will be slowed down.

Captain's Log: Spacedate 1,384

Oh, and the other stupid thing about stupid nebulas?  Pirates hide in them.  And then pop out.  I hate when things pop out at me!

I wasn't really in the mood for fighting, so I let them go even though Wilkinson said she wanted to blast more things.  Is letting pirates go better or worse than taking them down?  We should've brought a pilomosopherer.

Captain's Log: Spacedate 1,387

In the middle of the nebula we saw a big damaged Federation ship.  I'm pretty sure my pilot's license says I'm contractually obliged to help Federation Bros (I memorized it), so I went after them but I lost them.

I did find what was chasing them, though!  Guess what it was.  Did you guess Rebel patrols?  Then you win a million dollars!  As soon as I get out of here, become rich by patenting my bacon-scented med bay, and somehow track you down, your prize will be delivered.  Yaaay.

Captain's Log: Spacedate, 1388

Ugh.  We landed in the middle of a plasma storm.  Not only is it hurting our ship, but you know how Zoltans are all electricy?  Ohm keeps accidentally channeling the storm and zapping anyone who comes near him.  I exiled him to the door control room, but he keeps messing with the doors now.

There was a big shipwreck on the horizon (note to self: find out if space has horizons), so we took a closer look.  We opened up the airlock and everything but guess what: Davis tripped.  Yeah, seriously.  He kinda yelped with surprise and flew out the lock.  I think I saw him grab a passing Zoltan scout and fly away, so he's probably fine.  But now who's gonna do all the cooking?

Captain's Log: Spacedate 1,390

Maybe my opinions about the Mantis were wrong.  We came across one of their ships today.

They just let us go!  I mean sure, they were a little mean about it, but I think they just don't know how to express themselves any other way.  I think I saw something about that on TV.

Except then we immediately ran into a rebel ship.

They took out the life support, so I sent Davis to fix it.  And then I went to fix it myself because I forgot Davis is gone.  This just gets stupider and stupider.  I hate this nebula so much.

Captain's Log: Spacedate 1,392

We came across a rebel scout today.  We tried to take it out, but it zipped away before we could!  Now it's gonna tell the rebel fleet where we are and we'll have to go even faster.  Luckily, we're almost out of the nebula.

Captain's Log: Spacedate 1,394

We came across some guys who wanted to trade fuel for drone parts.  Maybe I should make a big sign to stick on the ship that says "WE DON'T HAVE ANY DRONES.  WE DON'T WANT ANY DRONE PARTS".  Ohm could power it.

Captain's Log: Spacedate 1,395

We can finally move on to the next sector now.  Anything would be better than this stupid nebula of stupid lame stupidness.  As we were leaving, we noticed a rebel ship guarding a storage vessel, but I really wanted to leave so we just ignored it.

Let's see, a choice between a sector of vicious pirates or cool electric people?  Hard choice.  Maybe Ohm can help me score some sort of bacon-scent dispenser.  Or cookie-scent.  Either way, really.  Preferably both.


  1. Wait, what? Technical difficulties, hold on.

  2. Really enjoying these, especially now that I got the game (OMG SO AWESOME) and understand what you're talking about :3.

    Might even have to do my own FTL journal.

    1. You totally should. It's a good option since each game's pretty different due to the high randomness. And yep, pretty awesome game. Occasionally frustratingly random (the events that have no way of turning out good seem to pop up a little too often), but still awesome.

  3. Also, RPS totally stole my idea. I'll be expecting royalties and complete ownership of the website within a week.

    1. If you do get complete ownership, I expect to be assistent editor!

    2. Deal! Now if only we could get Richard Cobbett in on this...